No matter how much I grew, Fred was never old.
The very first day I was born, he held me in his arms. I gripped his black leather jacket tight, and was destined never let go.
Mom and dad both worked for the emergency room, mainly a night time job. And I was left all alone to Fred; he would babysit me for nights. I could almost retell how he looked at that time, pale but young. Though years passed, he hardly changed. I’ve always grown, and that passion I could not ignore grew with me. It was so overwhelming that I didn’t dare look at his eyes.
“So…our little Blare is five years old! Tell me, what’s your dream of the future?” He said at my fifth birthday party. My buddies from kindergarten were right in front of me. I’ve invited no guys; I just simply didn’t like them. But him.
“I want to be your bride.” I told him.
He always laughed heartily; I hate it when he laughs. As if not taking my words seriously, as if I was just being childish. “But I’m your uncle.” And I begged him not to say those words, it hurts to hear. Yes he’s my uncle. Fred is my uncle. I bore feelings for him that I could never tell, nor would he ever believe. Every year I would tell him the same thing, it never changed. I knew it was a sin. But I couldn’t help it. Aren’t we all sinners, don’t we all make a few mistakes when we are young? This was one of them not meant to be fixed.
My naïve affection for Fred seemed to have ended at my thirteenth birthday; at least, that is what everyone believed. I told him I’ve changed my dream, but I wanted to remain a secret. “So don’t you love your uncle anymore?” He wasn’t exactly smiling, but kind of at ease. Of course I did. From the very first day I was born. He gave me a gentle stroke. “Little Blare has grown up.” I didn’t reply, I hated to lie.
I was no longer a concern of the family, Fred seldom came over. I knew he was avoiding me, for what ever reason I couldn’t tell. I soon learned to take care without him being around. But there were no one to help me with my homework anymore, no one to remind me never open doors to strangers, no one to comfort me after a terrible nightmare in the middle of the night. No one to lift me up when I fell. My whole life was wrecked. I dreamt there was someone standing by my bed, humming songs. But every time I lift my eyes, he was gone.
So I started doing silly stuff to my self, god knows why. I got suspended from school, I smoked a little, I ripped my jeans, and I shaved my hair. I tried everything, just to let him know that I was still his little Blare, and I was not ready to let go. Mom was frustrated, she knew I’d get better when ever Fred was here, so she dialed his number and begged him to come.
Fred arrived in a few minutes, pounding at my bedroom door. He said nothing, simply fiddling with his fingers.
“Why don’t you come see me?” I stared at his reflection through the window panes.
“I don’t need to, you’re a grown girl.”
“But I miss you.” I couldn’t hold back the tears. “Why don’t you come by at day time?”
He hesitated. There were emotions in his eyes that I couldn’t tell. “Can’t.”
“Why?”
“I’m a night person, that’s all.”
“Fred——”
“Don’t call me that. I’m your uncle.”
“You don’t look anything his age.”
There was a moment of silence. The clock ticked awkwardly.
“Have I ever told you——”
“Yes?”
“That I’m a vampire?”
That was when the sky fell apart. You know how that’s like, can’t seen any color, not even black. There were only broken pieces.
As long as I could remember, Fred never saw daylight. He never talked about what a lovely weather it was or how he had a walk in the mornings. He always came after dusk and left before dawn, I never questioned it until that moment. No wonder his appearance hardy changed through time.
“I got turned into a vampire at the age of seventeen. Your aunt Lucy got bitten by a loner, and she passed it on to me. Now the spell can’t be reversed, I’ll live on forever.”
“Have you…ever bit any one?”
I received a positive nod. “Many. Now you should know why I have to stay away from me.” There wasn’t evil or thirst in his eyes; I could sense it, only guilt. He left silently. I was too stunned to say anything.
That was a day when the rain never seemed to stop. I dreamt my self walking through a pool of rain, my boots were soaked. But I carried on, calling Fred’s name. It would be horrifying to think that one day I might die of age but he’d still be young and charming.
I knew nothing could stop me from being with him.
Even if I had to become one of him.
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